|
|
South school is psychotic. There's little more than that I can say. That's one thing I'll miss about high school.
"I'm not going to draw the elephant. You get enough opportunities to laugh at me. You don't need another."
-Math teacher Mr.N re: diagrams.
"As writers, you need to learn to open up, so we will drag in a bathtub and bathe in front of each other..."
-Ms. SP, re: mishearing the word 'baking'.
"Let's face it, Mr. M is cute."
-Mr. N, re: the physics teacher. And yes, he is. I have about five pages of Mr. M quotes around here somewhere.
"I grew up a Christian, and whenever I look at the bible I see all this crap and mistakes and continuity errors and I wonder... who wrote this shit?"
-Boy in Writer's Craft.
"I wouldn't kill people with a scythe! I'm not that violent!"
"Prove it!"
"...I haven't killed people with a scythe. How much more proof do you need?!"
-Taru and Haru, re: Taru's highly violent tendancies.
"Sorry, we don't allow coughing in our class."
-Mr. S, history teacher, who then proceeded to break into a psychotically long and painful sounding coughing fit.
"K's a good breaking sound. Break break break. FUCK OFF! 'Fuss' wouldn't have the same ring. Fuck."
-Ms. SP, demonstrating her ability to swear in front of her class and get away with it.
"I found out I was teaching Calculus last... Thursday. It's no real problem. I haven't taught it in the last sixteen years. It's no real problem. It's not like the subject matter will have changed..."
-Mr H, math teacher.
"You probably go out on the weekends. You should stay home, count syllables. It's fun."
-Ms. SP re: Iambic pentameter.
"Besides, what do YOU know about female orgasms? YOU'RE a lesbian! ... hey, wait a minute..."
-Dragon Boy to his sister Ishiki, who just smiled in that annoyingly enigmatic way she's so good at.
"Don't make me think too hard. If you make me think too hard, you're going to suffer."
-Mr H, math teacher.
"You don't have to, but then again, you can go out and play in traffic. I wouldn't advise either.."
-Mr H again, re: simple derivitives.
"When we get into two-dimensional drawings, you have to promise me to only laugh lovingly."
-Mr N, the math teacher who thinks Mr M is cute.
"Who assigned this questions?! This question is warped!!"
-Mr. N, re: A question he assigned where the hypotenuse is smaller than one of the sides.
"If I think very hard, I can remember all the phrases from the twenty years I was a teenager."
-Mrs. Vegitables, art teacher, re: slang. Every so often, she comes out with a gem.
"At some point this bird -- let's assume it's some form of hawk -- notices activity on the ground. It swoops down and grabs its prey -- a small bird -- then starts to climb. Mistake: it's not a bird, it's a small firecracker. And the hawk starts to fall..."
-Mr. M (physics teacher) re: cubic curves. And this is why he's cute.
"I couldn't understand a word she said. I was like, 'who are you? Where are we? Why am I in this class?'"
-Girl in art on first day.
"You have to understand that calculus is based on something that is WRONG."
-Mr. H re: limiting values.
"My pants are a No Man's Land."
"Now, is that an undefined quality or an indeterminate quality?"
"Only YOU could take a piece of sexual innuendo and turn it into a quote from math class!"
-Skeeve and Ishiki re: Ishiki's love of math. (And Skeeve's love of sex.)
"Rarefaction. It's a bad-tasting word. I don't like saying it."
-Mr M, physics teacher.
"I should have been a pirate, not a music teacher. Can't you see me as Gutterball Bob, the fearsome pirate?"
-Mr. L. I'll never look at him in the same way again.
"Pay attention to class, don't talk to that loser Stephan!"
-Mr. J. Heheh.
"We were just discussing Maurice Richard and got into Ms. K and a case of beer..."
-Mr J, trying to explain things to the Head of the English Department after he'd walked in on Mr. J's stories about drunken English teachers.
"Has anyone read Heart of Darkness? ....oh. Hi, Haru."
-Aaron, as I'm the only person who put my hand up during his book report.
"So, Mannanan Mac Lir would wander around with squelchy boots and put his feet up in the laps of any women he could find."
"Hey... he's ME!"
-Haru and Matt, re: Celtic lore.
"Come in Flagstaff! Come in Flagstaff! We are out of supplies and have eaten the sled dogs..."
-Mr. L, playing with an oscilloscope.
"Here we have a piece of equiptment that is obviously scientific, as it has lots of buttons."
-Mr. L. There's a reason he's a music teacher.
"Mr. M said I could borrow the oscilloscope any time, but that I was required to burst into the middle of his class, run up to the front, and wrestle with him dramatically first." pause "Mr. M is a frustrated bass player who used to listen to Queen. No, really."
-Mr L, again. He keeps making himself seem slashy with Mr. M. But you can slash Mr. M with anybody because...
"Frequency is measured in Hertz, as in the car rental company."
-Mr. L
"My GOD, he's so GAY!"
"He looks rather... sweet, doesn't he?"
-Mia and Mr. L re: Berlioz.
"Well, the text says Berlioz 'worked in a fevered dream' and I suppose that could be a referrence to his being completely cracked out on Opium..."
-Mr. L. Do you see a trend?
"1) "AWAY" tomorrow.
2)ISP #2 - May 2.
3) Goofy time (likely)
4) questions, etc.
5) Pick on Corum (too easy)
XXXXXX Steve (even easier)
XXXXXX Kevin (a challenge!)"
-Mr. J's to-do list on the board, April 11.